After IPL is Nationalized

What will happen if IPL gets nationalized? Let’s have a look,

  1. Only DD1 will air it.
  2. All Man of the match awardees will have to wait for one year to receive the award from president.
  3. Cheerleaders will wear sarees and will do BharatNatyam.
  4. The team that has fewer fans present in the stadium will get subsidies.
  5. Holiday will be declared in the winning team’s home state.
  6. Captain and players will get OT for taking more time to complete overs.
  7. There will be reservations for SC/ST/OBCs in all teams.
  8. Cheerleaders will be in their sweet 50s waiting for retirements…just like IA air hostesses.
  9. The Man of the Series will get Ambassador CNG series.
  10. A new ministry will be created called IPL ministry & Sharad Power head this ministry 4 lifelong along with Agriculture if needed.
  11. The BJP will get all snide and refer to it as the ‘Italian Premier League.’
  12. Modi’s son will take over from him.
  13. Match tickets will be sold only in select SBI / SBM branches between 10 am and 3 pm.
  14. IPL will be renamed to Gandhi Bharthiya Khel trophy or Indira Premiere League.
  15. Salaries of players will be as per “Pay Commission” recommendations.
  16. The RCB team will be banned from playing on dry days and will have to bowl their last over by 10pm.
  17. Kolkata KnightRiders will go on a 2 days strike in true Bong fashion. This will be the longest they ever keep strike.
  18. Gahlot’s rajasthan, Rajiv’s Bangalore, Pawar’s mumbai, Mamta Kolkata, Amrinder’s Punjab.
  19. Babus will ensure that all matches start after 11am and end before 5pm sharp.
  20. Mayawati, Mamta & Jayalalitha will replace Priety, Shipa and Katrina as ambassadors. Maya will hug all her statues.
  21. A Maharashtrian political party will demand that ‘mumbai indians’ be changed to ‘mumbai mumbaikars’. Ohh wait…
  22. My neighbour uncle will get into some team in the senior citizen quota.
  23. Tickets will be sold on the IRCTC website. Tickets on the waiting list would not be given admissions.
  24. Arundhati Roy will cry foul & write 36 page essays on why the team that finished last should be declared the winners.
  25. Ravindra Jadeja would get justice after 15 years, that too after throwing a shoe at Shilpa Shetty.
  26. The Prime Minister will give his message to the nation before start of a season.
  27. Spectators will throw chairs to umpires for wrong decision.
  28. We will have two CPI sponsored Strategic Bandh for 2.5 minutes in each innings.
  29. Franchisee not opting for any UP city will be declared anti-dalit.
  30. A new 2% tax surcharge will be imposed for improving performance of KKR and KXIP.
  31. Umpires will not be able to listen to the sound of ball hitting the bat because of Mamta Banerjee in stands.
  32. Amar Singh will replace Danni Morrison.
  33. Every suicide in Andhra Pradesh would be linked to Deccan Charger’s performance.
  34. Khap panchayats will outlaw same gotra partnerships and ask for a change in ICC rules.

#AfterIPLisNationalized twitts collection… 🙂

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4 Comments Add yours

  1. Subhro says:

    Just fatafati….!!!!

  2. pinky says:

    superb thoughts and truely hillarious!

  3. Sayantan says:

    loved the 3rd and 9th point … lol 🙂

    here’s one point from my side –

    35) Instead of Ranbir Kapoor’s Pepsi ad, the following ad would be aired during breaks –
    Shopkeeper: Ohhoho..deepika ji
    aaiye aaiye yeh raha aapka saman

    Deepika ji: yeh nahi, woh..

    Shopkeeper: Par aap to hamesa who mehanga wala tikiyaa….

    Deepika ji: Leti thi
    Kam damo mein wahi safei miley to koi woh kyo leh…
    Yeh kyoo na ley…

    Shopkeeper: Maan gaye

    Deepika ji: Kisse?

    Shopkeeper: apki paar ki nazar aur nirma super dono ko!

  4. q8life says:

    My opinion on the whole IPLGate

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